The Doctor And The Madgod
by Alex Corbin
Summary: The Ninth Doctor travels to the planet of Nirn and meets a certain insane Daedra...


The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS and looked around, taking in the vast alien landscape that was laid out in front of him. Rose stepped out and stood next to him, taking a deep breath of the dusty air and coughing slightly. "Ugh, this air's horrible," She chocked, putting one sleeve over her mouth and nose "Where are we?"  
The Doctor looked around at the ashy wasteland, the giant parasol mushrooms and the huge, towering volcano in the far distance, and came to the conclusion that: "We're on Nirn. More specifically, the province of Morrowind on the continent of Tamriel, Nirn. Old fashioned little planet, still stuck in the middle ages if I remember correctly." He took a deep breath and coughed slightly like Rose had. "Not the nicest of air, but we'll get used to it." He reached into his leather jacket and pulled out his sonic screwdriver, then scanned the air and checked the readings. "Slightly high levels of carbon dioxide but nothing too harmful. I'd say its the tiny ash particles in the atmosphere that are giving our lungs a hard time." Rose said something through her sleeve that The Doctor couldn't make out. "What's that?"  
She moved her sleeve out of the way "I said, what's with all the giant mushrooms?"  
"Those, Rose, are Emperor Parasols, and what do you mean what's with them? I think they make the place look fantastic." "You would." She laughed slightly.  
"Don't you? Much more interesting than your boring old trees. No offence."  
Suddenly a third voice joined them from behind. "I'd rather say that this is more interesting than anything on this drab old plain." The voice had a thick accent of both Scottish and Irish sounding origins. The Doctor and Rose both turned around to see a strange man wearing a purple and pink suit, a frilly white cravat and sporting a rather sophisticated looking goatee. His hair was grey and slightly wild, his eyes strange and cat-like.  
The Doctor, surprised at this sudden intrusion on his and Rose's conversation, began questioning the man. "And who exactly are you?"  
"Me? Oh, that doesn't matter too much." He turned and faced the TARDIS, spreading his arms wide as if beholding something magnificent. "What does matter is the nature of this blue box! I've never seen anything like it before!"  
The Doctor walked up next to him. "It's nothing special, just an old wooden box. No need to fuss over it."  
"I believe you're lying, sir! This is more than just a box, that much is obvious!"  
The Doctor was confused. How did this man know so much? "How d'you mean?"  
"Well I've never seen an ordinary box materialise out of thin air! That makes it special, true?"  
"Ah," The Doctor realised that the man knew nothing, and had only inquired as he had seen the TARDIS materialising. "Well I'm afraid you must be going mad, for me and my companion, Rose, here," He gestured towards Rose, who did a small wave. "Carried this to this spot this morning."  
The man began laughing hysterically "Going mad? GOING mad?" He turned back and faced The Doctor, his face red with laughter "Why, I'm afraid I already went mad a very long while ago, my big eared friend!"  
The Doctor put one hand up and felt his ears, before swiftly putting it down again and saying "Well evidently that is why you are seeing things, so if you don't mind then just leave us now."  
The man looked indignant. "How rude!" He exclaimed. "I only wanted to know about your magic box, and here you are shooing me away like a child!"  
"Well you very much remind me of a child so if you don't mind then kindly run along and forget you ever met me." The Doctor was getting slightly irritated by the man's immaturity.  
"I don't believe I will!" The man sat on the floor and leaned against the TARDIS. "Unless you show me what's in the box. Then of course I'll leave." He suddenly leapt to his feet again, kicking up a small cloud of dust. "Oh! Where are my manners? Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of madness." He threw out a hand to for The Doctor to shake. The Doctor ignored the handshake, and lied: "John Smith." He pulled out his physcic paper and showed it to the man.  
He read aloud: "The Doctor- No wait, it's changing, marvellous! Your actual name is-"  
"Nothing." The Doctor cut him off, pulling away the paper and putting it away again. "Just The Doctor. No need to get so... personal."  
Sheogorath grinned. "Ah, got dark secrets, do we? Don't worry, I didn't see it so your secret's safe." He turned back to the TARDIS again. "Now let's get inside you, then." He reached for the door.  
The Doctor, upon realising that this ludicrous man was about to discover the most powerful piece of technology for thousands of miles in all directions, intervened by quickly pulling out the TARDIS key and locking the doors from a distance, a bit like a car. I'll have to remember that one, he thought, It'll be great if I ever need to lighten up the mood. "Sorry." He said. "But I'm not going to let you get in there."


End file.
